Self Control? What’s That?

I keep a daily tear off calendar at my desk at work.  This particular one is called “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero.  I also have the book she wrote of the same name but I have yet to read it.  Anyway, this was the message on my calendar from the other day:


Now I think you could interpret this message to apply to whatever act it is that you need to get together in your life.  But of course my mind immediately went to my weight.  The struggle is real, people.  And unfortunately the struggle has lasted most of my adult life so far.

At first I was a little offended.  Lazy cow?  How dare you!  But wait… it’s totally true!  I am a lazy cow.  I am not taking the right steps in order to get my weight under control.  I know I need to.  I know how to do it.  The trick is, like the message states, getting your mind, body, and soul on the same page.

Ok, so how in the hell do I do that?  Especially when my body is saying, “Dear lawd, honey angel child, do not shove anymore food in me, puh-lease!” and my mind is saying, “You had a bad day.  Eat that pizza, girl.”  I wish my mind and body could just be friends.

Practicing self control is incredibly difficult for me.  I think it’s because I had very little freedom as a child/adolescent and when I became an adult and had all these newfound freedoms, I went a little crazy.  No one was there to tell me “no” and I definitely had an “I’ll do whatever I want” mentality.  Even at my age now, it’s like I’m still trying to make up for all those times I couldn’t do what I wanted.  I need a constant reminder that food is just food.  It’s to nourish, not to use as a reward or to appease an emotional response.

Getting my mind, body, and soul to work together is proving to be more difficult than anything I’ve ever done and it requires getting so many other aspects of my life together first.  I’ve come to accept the fact that I’ll always be a work in progress.


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